Here We Go....

OK, so who said that fat people are jolly? I can tell you right now, that I feel anything but jolly when I step on a scale.

I am 37 and overweight. I have known for a while that I am heavier than is really good for me, but just have not really done anything about it. I have tried dieting in the past, and just can't seem to stick with it. I don't make time for exercise, and love to eat. All in all, not a good combination.

I have begun to notice lately that I am really not happy with my appearance, and it is way past time for me to try and make some changes. Don't get me wrong... I don't want to be super skinny - I just want to be at a healthier weight and able to walk through the zoo with my kids without wheezing as I walk up the hill at the end.

OK, so to get started with I have jumped on the scale to log my current weight of 238.2 lbs. Now, if I were 7 ft tall this would not be so bad. However, on my 5'6" frame it is a little much. I also feel like I don't "look" like I weigh that much, but maybe I do. I know that when I had looked at a recent picture of myself, I was not happy with what I saw. Granted, I was sitting down and that makes the fat rolls just that much more attractive than they already are. I need to make sure that I am standing in more pictures, maybe hiding behind something too :)

Here are a few issues that I need to change and CAN change. Currently I drink about 2-3 cans of Coke per day. This NEEDS to stop. We as a family eat out more often than we should, just because it is easier. I need to USE the exercise equipment that I have instead of hanging things off of it. As a teen, I loved to walk and did so all the time. Now I find that my walking consists of from the car to work, home or shopping. I can't believe that I gave up walking for enjoyment. I realize that with our work schedules it is a little difficult to fit in a time when I can go by myself for a little solitude, but I think that I really need to mark out a half hour each day to do this. Hell, even 15 minutes would be a good start. I love to cook. this is not really a bad thing. I just need to change a few of the things that I do to make it a little healthier. I also need to find a way to get my kids to eat better as well. That is another reason that I need to make this change. My son is big for his age. I don't mean heavy, he is taller than the rest of the kids in his class and has a bigger frame. He really enjoys eating, but does not understand moderation. If I do not watch him, he tends to eat more than I do at dinner time. If this continues, he will face the same problem that I am right now, and I don't want that for him.

I think that I need to find a hobby that keeps my hands busy. I find that I will eat, just because I am bored. I tried knitting as a hobby and that worked out OK because you can't eat when both hands are occupied!! I ran out of projects though and just have not gotten back to it. I am in hopes that this journal will remind me of what I am doing.

Earlier, I was getting ready to go out to a work function and really looked at myself in the mirror. It was not the super sexy body that I had when Dean and I started dating 20 years ago. Yes, I was a hot momma back in the day. I was slim, had curves in all the right places and my boobs were perky. I still have curves, but now some of them are just going the wrong direction and the girls have drooped a bit (it must be because they are sad). From a side view, my belly sticks out almost as far as my chest. Now if I were flat chested that would not be so bad, but the girls are a decent size so it is a bit distressing that my mid-section is so big. And as they say "baby got back". As I said earlier, I don't want to be super skinny and I know that the 120 lbs I weighed in high school is a little unrealistic for me at this point in my life. I want to start with getting under 200 lbs and my ultimate goal is to reach 150-155 lbs.

I am signing off for tonight
C